I doubted it too, how could this be real?

I was skeptical too. I questioned everything about what I felt when I tried Reiki for the first time.

Well, wait, that’s not entirely true – let me rewind. I found my first energy healer after my son died 12 years ago.  I was broken and I was open to anything that might give me some peace and warm that ember of hope that I clutched so tightly as my universe shifted.

During my healing sessions I felt everything. It was natural and at the same time was completely illogical. I heard the Ki (chi) from my healer’s hands, I felt warmth and tingling, and I had visions that unfolded some of the deepest parts of my soul. It was amazing. It still is.

In my 30’s I wanted control. I had created a path in life where I simply expected to be able to manipulate outcomes by planning, and choosing and working hard. I overanalyzed nearly everything, it was almost a game. But when I left my sessions I was at peace with not knowing. It was liberating to simply trust the feelings and experience over anything that could be tested, analyzed or explained. It was a flash back to the way I used to see the world before corporate jobs, bills, and outside expectations.

It began to dawn on me that throughout my life I have been very in tune with my body and with energetic vibrations. For as long as I can remember, I have felt energy shifts from people, I have sensed connections and honed my intuition, I’ve known things within my own body that doctors have argued was impossible. When I was a young girl I stumbled upon this invisible force between my hands. I couldn’t sleep one night so I began tossing a little bouncy ball from hand to hand watching it closely and focusing on the air and dust particles in the space between. I dropped the ball but my hand was already following the rhythmic motion of the back and forth. In the instant between registering the ball had dropped and stopping my hand movements, I felt this resistance between my hands. It was like I held two opposing magnets.

At first, I was a little alarmed. I didn’t know what that feeling was but I wanted to feel it again. I began moving my hands in the same motions fast, then slow trying to find that sensation that my 8 year old mind had rationalized was “thick air”.

I remember very clearly looking around to be sure nobody saw me playing with empty air! I started to think “this is crazy, I look foolish!” And then I heard my inner voice very clearly say – even before the prior thought had finished crossing my mind, “you decide if you believe or not and then it is so…or not“.

In that moment, everything just made sense. It was OK to trust that I was experiencing something very real. It took some time and practice but I began to figure out how I could catch that energy again:

Move slowly.
Relax and breathe.
Trust it’s there.
If distracted, close eyes.
Start with hands together.

I would stretch and pull and feel the edges of this energy. And still I would frequently wonder if I’d made this all up in my mind only to try to find it again – and with focus I always did.

I was raised by amazing parents and a father who was often grounded in an evidence based view of the world.  I was trained to question everything, to dig for facts and to discard the questionable. But I also had this innate understanding that our energy, our souls and the human experience…it was all more than we could imagine. It all led to deep understanding sprinkled with intermittent questions.

Not long after meeting my energy healer I knew that I needed to pursue this work. I knew this was real and I had felt the healing it brings. During my Reiki training I felt the energy and I connected with people on a vibrational level. I got confirmation from clients and I felt it myself.

And even after all of it, I could fall back into that critical mind, questioning and doubting. Analyzing the sensations in my hands, the heat, the imagery. But every time doubt crept in, I would

Move slowly.
Relax and breathe.
Trust it’s there.
If distracted, close eyes.
Start with hands together.

And I’d be certain again.

When people ask me how energy healing works, when they cast doubt on a perceived lack of science-based studies, I ask them to lay on my table with an open mind and a grounded heart and experience it themselves.

You can choose to believe…or not. Science doesn’t need to discover something to make it real. Trust yourself, live in the moment, and be open to your experiences.


Did this resonate with you? I’d love to hear from you in the comments below.

xo Jeanine 

Asking for signs

Signs from our guides come in many different ways. I was paddling this morning and reflecting on some projects I want to start and asked my guides for some guidance. Specifically, I asked the sign to be an octopus if I’m on the right track. I ask and then I wait because in my experience signs can be immediate or can take a while. Then at dinner my son brought me the kids menu :). And if there was any uncertainty, literally as I typed typed this post, my mother handed me these lures!

For many people accepting that the signs are THE signs is the hard part. At some point, you have to decide if you will accept it. You choose to believe it or not. You choose to be aware and connected.

The cool part about asking for a specific sign, is that the message is very clear and customized. 

Some people may rationalize that the octopus images is common or your subconscious is now aware and therefore looking for the symbol. I chose the octopus because I hadn’t seen one in months. And don’t forget, you’re asking for your guides to send signs and make you aware of them. So, at some point, you just have to decide if you trust your guides communicate or not. It’s all free will.

So, leap. Trust. Accept.  Ask…and trust the answers. 

I’d  love to hear about signs you’ve asked for! Was it difficult to accept and believe? Tell me more!

Reconnecting in the New Year

As you take time to reflect on 2017 and all that you have experienced and learned take time to appreciate and feel gratitude for all of your life’s lessons. No matter where our paths have taken us and where they will lead us, we can find gratitude in our experiences and mine them for lessons to enrich our futures.

When you follow your heart and allow yourself to feel your way through the world, your path will unfold more easily and joyfully. This is something I have to remind myself of and nothing makes it more clear that I have to refocus and recenter than when I feel disconnected, full of doubt or anxious.

Trust your feelings, they are tell signs. When we are calm and centered and joyful, we are in balance. When we feel bad, angry, uneasy, we are not in balance – we are out of alignment with our truths.

Reconnect in the New Year and every day. Take time to:
– Meditate, however that looks to you it doesn’t need to be complicated or too time consuming
– Reconnect with nature and physically connect to the earth – walk barefoot, sit or lay on the ground
– Eat well – choose foods that nourish your body, avoid processed and fake foods
– Smile and feel gratitude. Truly feel this — take time to envision a grateful heart.

Life lessons can be beautiful and they can be painful, choosing how to respond to the experience is what creates the next steps in our path.